How soon should we book?
There are many important aspects to a wedding. The officiant is the most essential part as it is a requirement to make it a legal marriage. No officiant, no marriage: thus you may want to have someone at least pencilled in. Consider booking your officiant fairly early on in the process of organizing your day to confirm availability.
Where can you officiate? Are you legally recognized by the government?
I am legally recognized and primarily licensed to officiate weddings within the province of Ontario. Under special request, my ministry also allows me to officiate in the provinces of; British Columbia, Alberta, Quebec, and Newfoundland & Labrador. As well as across the United States in any state where officiant residency is irrelevant (i.e. New York, Ohio, Michigan, Washington, Illinois, California, Texas, …). The venue is for you to choose. I will marry you at the location of your choice; chapel, home, cottage, back yard, banquet hall, restaurant, park, meadow, hot air balloon, boat, …
How do we contact you?
You can contact me by phone or email. Email: Celebrant ‘at’ Kallista.ca Phone: 863 ~ 9332 in the 647 area code.
Contact Kallista
What is the process?
We can set up a meet & greet (video) call with the three of us, to review preliminaries. If you choose to select me as your officiant, from there we’ll go back and forth a few times reviewing potential wedding scripts, until we have edited and crafted the ceremony into something that reflects you and your beliefs, and can be a ceremony that all can look back on fondly for years to come. Unless this is an elopement style wedding where you aren’t fussed about what you say, expect to have 2-4 conversations and a few emails exchanged as we ensure the tone is just right.
Can you Marry us without a marriage license?
The Government requires a marriage license to be filled out in advance of a ceremony, and picked up from a municipal office. The license is then endorsed (witnessed) at the time of the ceremony. For couples that want the ceremony without the legalities we can do that too. Maybe you just don’t want the government meddling in your relationship. Or perhaps you are doing the legalities at another time or place. Whether it be in a different jurisdiction or just on a different date in front of a larger/smaller crowd. Some people also like to do vow commitments in lieu of a legal wedding or vow renewals on milestone anniversaries. It is your call. I can officiate with or without a license. The government will only recognize a marriage if a license is obtained before hand and then endorsed by a recognized officiant.
You, the intended, do. Visit your local Government website to find out how to obtain a marriage licence. The form can be downloaded, printed and then taken to a city hall or municipal office near you. Following the ceremony, the officiant will mail the endorsed marriage licence to the governmental Office of the Registrar to register it. Two to three months later, the newlywed couple can order a copy of the marriage certificate from the same site. No license no wedding. Please be sure to book your appointment to pick up your license in ample time. Arrange to pick up the license about 1-3 weeks prior to the marriage. Some jurisdictions are booking appointments 6-10 weeks out. Licenses are good for three months (or longer with covid extensions). If you are struggling to book a convenient appointment try a different municipality. A license issued in Ontario is valid for use anywhere in the province. If you are a procrastinator or seeking an elopement style wedding, the ceremony can occur the same day the license is issued.
What are the legalities.
a) Question of Impediment (“Are you here freely without impediment?”)
b) Declaration of Intent (the “I Do’s”)
c) The signing of the registry.
d) The Pronouncement (declaring you are now married)
These all must happen in front of two mature sober witnesses.
Any two English speaking individuals that can; recognize, endorse, and vouch for the marriage. Adequate English is a requirement for them to understand the proceedings and the legal documents they will be required to endorse. You may choose friends, relatives, or colleagues. Some couples choose their teenage children. I am happy to ask two strangers going for a walk in the park if you don’t want to pick favourites among friends or draw straws.
How long is the ceremony?
The average length is about 20 minutes. However, each ceremony is unique, so times vary depending on items such as; the components chosen, the readings, the length of the vows you select or write. Basic elopement style weddings generally take about 10 minutes with signing, or we can make it 30-40 minutes if we select a longer script and with the addition of music or other rituals.
Can we add religious/spiritual aspects to the ceremony?
Absolutely, any component that is meaningful to you and generally in good taste, regardless of the origins, can be incorporated into the service. Technically, as a metaphysical minister (as opposed to a judge/justice of the peace) it is a religious ceremony. Even atheists and their officiants provide ‘religious’ services. They just don’t use the word ‘God’, ‘spirit’, ‘creator’, or alternates. For me, wherever two or more are gathered, it becomes a spiritual (hence religious) event. Add in a lovely or meaningful venue and that too can make it a spiritual event. I am open to borrowing liberally from others and incorporating what you desire into the ceremony.
What about songs or readings during the ceremony?
Absolutely, you are free to choose your own passages and music. This may extend the length of service, but you can structure it as you desire. It is my desire to support you in crafting the ceremony you want.
Can we write our own vows?
Certainly. I recommend it, while maintaining the traditional sentiments you desire. Writing from scratch may be intimidating thus many opt to edit the standard vows with a few alternate phrases. These are promises you are making to each other, so it should be words of your own choosing. There are numerous books with templates to draw from for inspiration. A starting place for your wedding script & ceremony ideas. I also have other outlines that I can send you, and we can work on your vows together.
Can you perform a traditional religious; Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu,…. wedding?
I am a metaphysical minister, that has some leeway to allow for a range in tone depending on if you are leaning towards something akin to a secular/civil ceremony or with extensive integration of some religious/spiritual traditions. There are many ways to incorporate a spiritual/religious element into your service. As metaphysical ministers we recognize all faiths and practices. Given that this is not a court house wedding some aspect of referencing the divine or spirit needs to exist. For some, the mere preference for a minister in lieu of a justice-of-the-peace or a more natural setting than a courtroom is sufficient to add a touch of the divine. There are various ways to reference or acknowledge heavenly influences, or the supernatural, depending on where the two of you are on the spectrum between atheist and devoutly religious. For a full religious wedding (i.e. a catholic mass) I would recommend a recognized priest, rabbi, etcetera if you are looking for a full religious service inside the appropriate church, synagogue, temple, mosque, … As metaphysical ministers we honour all paths.
What if we are both atheist and don’t believe in ‘God’, astrology, or that there is any form of afterlife or extraterrestrial beings?
In Ontario, all weddings not performed by a Justice of the Peace or a Judge are facilitated by a ‘religious leader’. I am a Metaphysical Minister, which is good for those that are unsure of their belief in unseen forces and or that have some clarity/awareness that there is something more out there even if they don’t know what to call it. Sometime we sense there is something more through serendipity or coincidences. The Humanist faith, is a religion that caters to Atheists and people that are hardcore ‘nope there is no God, spirits, soul, or an afterlife’. I can recommend an officiant if that is the route you want to take. For me, ‘spirit’ resides in who you choose to witness the event, the venue, music, and other elements with or without the words; ‘God’, ‘heavenly father’, ‘the divine’, ‘guiding spirits’, ‘Allah’, … or any other word.
We are not a traditional couple, is that an issue?
The world has relaxed and now accepts couples that are; interracial, of varying ages, different sexual orientations, as well as individuals that remarry, and/or marry late in life. Some couples are already cohabitating together and that is okay too. If it is permitted by the government, I probably won’t have an issue with it. Personally I’m more interested in the depth of devotion you have towards each other and your commitment to see each other through the challenges that come consistently throughout life, as you grow together. My first few weddings were with mixed race couples who were marrying later in life and they had their children in the wedding party.
Do we need a wedding rehearsal?
It is optional. Simple ceremonies generally don’t require it, but the longer the ceremony and larger the wedding party and guest list it can be a good idea to do so. Particularly if it will reduce your jitters on the day. It is an opportunity to coordinate with musicians, check the venue layout, etcetera. One hour is generally sufficient. A thorough conversation a few days prior with the intended, witnesses, and head musician to review the ceremony outline, via an online platform, can suffice.
Do you ever co-officiate?
Yes, I can do as little or as much as you require. From just overseeing the legalities only and signing the paperwork if you would like a loved one to perform the ceremony or overseeing more of the process while sharing some of the rituals, and readings with others.
Can photos be taken during the ceremony?
Yes, I have no restrictions, please ask the photographer to catch my good side, 
.
What do you wear?
I dress in professional business attire or an outfit fitting the occasion. (i.e. a navy dress with or without blazer). We can discuss details to ensure a level of comfort and colour coordination. I realize that the photos I am in will be part of your mementos of the day. I certainly wouldn’t want to wear anything you consider garish, or that has me look like someone in the wedding party.
Do you have videos of you in action or can we come see you perform a wedding?
No videos at this time, guest attendance will need to be requested of my other clients.
What languages do you speak?
English is my primary language. I have some command of the Spanish language, having resided in Mexico for over two years. For legal purposes my Spanish is likely insufficient if your fiancé lacks a command of the English language. Even if the ceremony is held in Spanish, I’ll want to cover the legalities with them in Spanglish if not English prior so that they understand and the marriage is not challenged afterwards. It is also advisable to have bi-lingual witnesses who can attest to the validity of the marriage.
What proves we are married?
You will receive a record of solemnization after your ceremony, on the day. For further legal proof of your marriage, you can also apply for a marriage certificate. I will remind and assist you (three months) after your ceremony to apply for your certificate if you choose to do so.
What’s the difference between your packages?
We can do the core essentials of just the legalities or we can expand from there, adding elements that inspire or hold meaning for you. Symbolism is personal. As a metaphysical minister I am comfortable officiating at; civil, agnostic, spiritual, religious, or interfaith ceremonies. We can adapt accordingly to incorporate various; traditional, cultural heritage, religious, or whimsical dynamics.
I have learnt over the years to not decline another’s generosity, in what ever form the other individual is inspired to make it in. It can also be verbal acknowledgements and/or other gifts or momentos. A testimonial and/or photo(s) for my website or as a personal keepsake is also appreciated.
What happens if there is an emergency and you are no longer available?
Cancellation Policy:
A wedding can be cancelled at anytime, even at the time of service. Some people are swept up in ‘appeasing others’ and gain more clarity as the final days approach. I had a client cancel the morning of once. If you lack ‘clarity’ then it is likely best. In the case of a cancellation I will want to speak to one of you directly, ideally both, to confirm cancellation as opposed to temporary cold feet jitters due to crowd size or …(I’m good at helping people through anxious nerves). We will also need, confirmation from one of the intended that the wedding is actually cancelled. We cannot accept the word of any family member or friend, as I’m not in a capacity to determine if the comments are genuine, a prank, or a form of sabotage. If the wedding is postponed under ‘compassionate grounds’ your deposit will be held until we can arrange another date.
Refund Policies:
Deposit Refund: All deposits are refundable when cancellation is within 10 days of the booking date on the contract minus an administration fee of $50.00. No refunds are given for cancellations after 10 days of booking.
Do you have any other complimentary services?
Yes, I am a trained and practising coach/counsellor, and EFT practitioner. if you would like some pre-marital and/or life coaching with regard to; your relationship, staying calm through the marriage process, over coming public speaking or other jitters, clearing limiting beliefs, finances or achieving other life goals that can be discussed, for an additional fee. I can also be hired to stay longer to say grace at dinner and/or be Master of Ceremonies, if your friends lack public speaking skills or they prefer to relax and enjoy the day.
What happens if I’m changing my name?
Anyone can change their name anytime, with a submission to the government to request a name change. It is a little easier(& cheaper) when the marriage certificate is available. When you change your name you can begin to start using your new name socially any time (change emails, sign correspondence …). in lieu of using ‘nee maiden name’, some people opt to informally hyphenate their name for a year if there is a lot of people they correspond with who may not realize it is the same person (i.e. a principal’s letters to the parents of students).
Most brides, who opt to take on their husband’s name, just assume the name and begin using it. The marriage certificate is generally available 2-3 months post the wedding. Take the marriage certificate into the; bank / service Ontario / service Canada / employer / utility companies … to have your accounts / Identification / payroll / call display … updated. It may take several months to make your way around to the various institutions. Some places may want proof, others may not (i.e. you might be able to change the call display on your phone just by going into your account). You may be functioning with two names for a year or more as all your accounts are updated. Make sure you know which signature to use, when doing any transactions (i.e. signing cheques) so as to not create issues or complicate things for the recipient or yourself.
The long and short of it is, they simplified the process from how it was done in the past. The marriage certificate is now sufficient proof to begin making formal adjustments.
Ordering a Marriage Certificate:
It takes about two months(6-8 weeks) for Thunder Bay to complete the process of registering your marriage. At that point in time you can order your Marriage Certificate. Some people put their request in right after the wedding so that they are in the cue, and once the Office of the Registrar General has the paperwork complete on their end, your marriage certificate can be mailed out.
Link to Gov’t website with details on How to order your certificate
Other Legalities:
Your ‘Will’ may expire the moment you sign your marriage license. Talk to your lawyer about any prenuptial documents, and/or adjustments to your Estate plan. (Wills, power of attorney,…) that may need updating. You may also want to notify your accountant, financial advisor, and other professionals. Do adjust your TFSA, as listing your spouse as a ‘successor holder’ and not just a ‘beneficiary’ allows the assets in the TFSA to flow directly to the designated successor (or beneficiary) without going through the estate (saving on probate fees), most importantly the ‘successor holder’ retains the contribution room of the decedent thus potentially doubling the size of the beneficiaries contribution room.
